It can be hard to find love in today’s world, especially if you’re not the right match. But there are ways to find someone special if you’re willing to do the work.
What Is A Soul Mate?
A soul mate is someone with whom you share an intense connection on a deep level of understanding. It’s someone whose presence makes you feel happy, peaceful, and alive. Someone who makes you laugh, inspires you or understands what you’re going through. They know when you need them and show up when you call on them.
But it’s not easy to find someone like this in real life. That’s why so many people end up settling for second best.
Finding The Right Person For You.
If you’ve read our feature on how to find a partner, I hope you learned something about finding someone who’s an excellent fit for you—someone you can connect with in a meaningful way. If you’re ready to move forward, here’s what you should do next:
Take stock of your values
Think back to a time when you were pleased. What was the feeling like? How did you feel? What could you see around you? What would it be if you had to describe the situation in one word? What was missing?
Now think back to other times when things weren’t so great. Were you happy then, too? Why or why not? What would you change about your past experiences to create happier days again?
This exercise is meant to bring awareness to your values. When you identify those values, you can use them as a guide to choosing partners who mesh well with you. For example, if you value honesty, you might select a long-term partner who’s also honest.
You don’t need to go to a bar to meet someone, but you may want to try a few different avenues before moving on to more traditional dating methods. Online dating sites can allow you to get to know potential mates without worrying about awkward conversations. Plus, you can look at their photos and profiles, which gives you a little peek into personality types and preferences.
Once you’ve found a site you like, please use its features and tools to build connections with members. Use the messaging system to keep in touch and let them know you’re interested. Then send a message asking for a face-to-face meeting.
This shows interest without making the person uncomfortable by immediately jumping into anything personal. After two months of using these apps, you should have enough information about the kind of person you’d like to date to decide whether it’s worth it to continue searching for someone else.
The Three Types Of People In Relationships
Everyone’s relationship story differs, but most people fall into three categories. These include:
- The “Me” Person: These folks are typically introverted and prefer to spend time alone. They’ll only join you in social events if they enjoy them themselves. However, they’re usually able to hold down jobs and are highly reliable.
- The “Us” Person: These folks are outgoing and love spending time with friends and family. They’ll happily invite everyone over to hang out and host dinner parties. They’re often active in community activities and charities and always supportive of those around them.
- The “We” Person: These folks are extroverted and like being around others daily. They’re fun and will always be up for a new adventure. They aren’t afraid to try new things and constantly seek new opportunities.
Your Relationship With Yourself
Do you know the difference between healthy self-esteem and an unhealthy ego? Healthy self-esteem means knowing who you are and accepting the fact that you have strengths and weaknesses. An unhealthy ego means thinking you’re better than others because you have certain qualities. Instead, try focusing on your positive traits and seeing yourself as the best version of yourself possible.
You’ll naturally attract other sure people when you’re confident in who you are. And once you surround yourself with other confident individuals, you’ll also become more confident. So the cycle keeps going on.
Relationship Advice From One Love Expert
Dr. John Gottman has studied couples for over 30 years and has developed a model to predict whether relationships will last or dissolve based on subtle micro behaviors called “microexpression patterns.” He says, “I believe the secret to finding your soul mate is to find your soul mate. You can do it.”
He describes four key areas to consider when developing your soul mate:
- Communication: It’s essential to be clear, direct, and open to understanding each other’s needs. You’ll never be confused about what each other wants.
- Intimacy: Intimacy can mean many different things to different people, so it’s vital to communicate what you expect from each other in terms of intimacy.
- Trust: Trust is essential when you’re living together and working together. If you can trust each other to handle whatever comes up, you can feel free to express your feelings and thoughts. Without communication, trust disappears quickly.
- Love: Love and respect are inseparable components of any successful relationship. If you’re unsure if you can show love, you’ll never have someone to show it to. If you’re unsure if someone is offering you respect, that’s a red flag.
So go out there and start meeting people. See what happens. Keep an open mind and be patient. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll find your soul mate out there somewhere.