We’re all searching for our perfect match, but what happens when we find them? We’ve asked the experts to explain how and why it feels so good when you finally connect with your true love.
You’re on a date with someone new — or maybe even your soul mate — who is everything you ever wanted in a partner. After months of searching, you’ve found that person who makes you feel like you were meant to be together, and now you can’t imagine life without them.
“It’s amazing,” says Dr. David DeAngelis, author of The Science of Falling In Love. “The brain lights up with such pleasure.”
While some people are fortunate enough to meet their soul mates early in life, others have had to wait until they’re older to realize what they’d always known. But no matter when or where you met your perfect match, here’s what happens when you finally touch.
Why Does It Feel Good To Be With Someone Who Makes Me Happy
You know you’re compatible because you share similar interests, values, goals, desires, dreams, hopes, and fears. But the connection between the two souls is deeper than that. According to Dr. Michael Graziano, author of The Science of Love, our brains are wired to make us happy by ensuring that the people we choose as partners will make us feel the way we want.
“When you’re attracted to somebody, you have this desire to get close to that individual, which is just a reflection of a biological desire to seek out those people who can make you happy,” he explains.
The Best Part Of Being In Love Is Knowing How Much They Care About You
If you thought love was about feeling butterflies, kissing in the rain, getting lost in each other’s eyes, and having romantic candlelight dinners, think again. While those things are essential, there’s more to being in love than simply feeling fabulous. “Love isn’t simply an emotion,” says Dr. DeAngelis. “It’s also a social behavior.”
According to him, the way we show our love matters most. “When you love someone, you want to do nice things for them; you want to give them gifts, tell them you care, and look after them,” he explains.
I Am Not A “Soul Mate,” And That’s OK
Some people believe that if they don’t find their “soul mate,” they’ll never find happiness. However, according to Dr. DeAngelis, that’s not necessarily true. He explains that a soul mate differs from a best friend, family member, or significant other. “A soul mate is an intimate relationship that’s perfect for one person and fulfills all his or her needs,” he clarifies.
What If My True Partner Was Unpredictable Or An Imposter?
While most of us look forward to meeting our soul mates, there may come a time when we’re forced to deal with an imposter — someone who looks exactly like your ideal partner but isn’t the real deal.
“When you meet someone who looks very much like your soul mate, you tend to assume it’s yours,” says Dr. Graziano. “That’s because it’s hard to detect deception, especially face-to-face.”
However, once you begin to search online, you’ll see that your soul mate could be anyone. So if you suddenly start receiving messages from someone claiming to be your true love, ask yourself these questions before believing anything. Are the photos real?
Do you recognize any of the details about the person?
Does the person sound like themselves?
There Are No Rules For This Relationship
After spending months looking for your perfect match, you may be tempted to treat your soul mate with complete abandon. While it’s normal to act carefree around someone you consider exceptional, remember that there are boundaries in every relationship.
According to Dr. DeAngelis, it’s OK to set rules if you’re dating someone who doesn’t live near you. Otherwise, you should avoid arguments and conflicts if you’re living together. Remember that your soul mate won’t always agree with you.
Touch Can Change Everything (But Don’t Expect Anything Too Weird)
Both men and women agree that touching and physical intimacy is crucial to a healthy, loving relationship. As you explore the world together, you’ll naturally develop new ways to express affection. For example, instead of saying, “I love you,” you might say, “I’m thinking of you.” And instead of snuggling under blankets at night, you might go for a long walk or watch a movie together.
As you continue to grow together, you may discover that you prefer certain types of touch over others. For instance, you may become curious about other body parts. And while this type of exploration may seem strange to you, it’s perfectly natural for your partner. Just remember to respect each other’s boundaries.
Our Souls Have Always Been Together
Although you may feel that you’re only half a whole, your soul mate knows that you’ve always been part of one another. Even if you weren’t born in the same place at the same time, your soul mate recognizes that you belong together.
Finding One Person Will Never Solve All Of Life’s Problems
Once you find your soul mate, you may wonder if this means that you no longer need anyone else. While this kind of thinking is understandable, it’s wrong. Your soul mate is a constant reminder that you’re never alone.
“Your soul mate is a mirror that reflects the qualities you value most in yourself,” says Dr. DeAngelis. “Even though you may think you’re the only person in the world, you have a companion inside.”
Loving Yourself First
When you find your soul mate, you’ll feel a sense of completeness. But it would be best if you didn’t stop there. It would be best if you took the time to learn about yourself to understand your partner’s needs better.
According to Dr. DeAngelis, if you focus on your self-esteem, you’ll attract a partner who shares your beliefs and values. “If you value honesty, then you’ll probably find someone honest,” he adds. You’ll appear happier and more attractive to others if you’re confident.
You’ll Know Within Minutes
No matter how long you’ve been looking for your soul mate, there comes a moment when you realize that the perfect person has already been right next to you the entire time.
