Finding your soul mate is a lifelong journey, but it can be a fantastic experience too. Here’s how to navigate the ups and downs of finding love while looking for something more meaningful.
In all our relationships — whether they’re romantic or platonic — we have two halves that make up a whole. One-half is the physical body, with its organs, bones, cells, and blood. The other half is the soul.
We each have a spiritual part of us that lives on after death. This is where our souls go when we die, and they continue living in another world, waiting to meet their other half.
And while we’re here, we can connect with them through our feelings. As we move through life, most of us feel love many times without ever touching our other half. But some people find their soulmates (the person who completes them) during this lifetime, and they know it from the beginning.
The Journey
Soulmates are usually born into families where the parents are committed to nurturing children with good values, morals, and goals. They may even be adopted by caring people who want to give them a better life than they had growing up. In these situations, it’s easy to see why people develop strong bonds and become attached to others.
But not everyone has such supportive circumstances in childhood. For example, if one or both parents were abusive, neglected, or didn’t care about them, they might struggle to form healthy attachments later in life. Or perhaps they weren’t raised in a religious household and didn’t believe in God. In these cases, they may not accept a relationship as sacred or true to their hearts.
Everyone eventually finds someone who makes them whole, regardless of how it starts. Love is universal and transcends race, gender, culture, and religion. And although some people only look for love once in their lives, others never stop searching and never give up.
So what happens when you finally do get together with your other half?
It Doesn’t Have To Be Simple
Some people think that finding your soulmate means having a perfect match. They believe that if you and your partner are very similar, you will always agree on everything and won’t even argue. If you’re fortunate, you’ll have a lot in common and spend lots of time laughing, talking, and feeling close to one another.
Others assume that if you’re deeply in love, you’ll automatically know what to do to keep things going forever. They believe that you should try to stay together no matter what, and if you break up, it’s probably because you haven’t been compatible enough to stay together.
This isn’t necessarily true, though. Even if you’ve found your ideal match, you can still end up breaking up with them if you aren’t ready for a serious commitment. A few years ago, I wrote a post called “How to Know If You Should Stay or Go,” which explained this point well. So if you’re thinking about ending things, take a step back and think hard before doing anything rash. Don’t rush into any decisions.
There are other ways that you could misread what’s happening, too. Maybe because you’re attracted to each other, you must already be soulmates. But attraction doesn’t mean anything unless you put effort into building a relationship.
You can also misunderstand what soulmates mean. Many people who are happily married believe that they’re soulmates. But the truth is that being soulmates means understanding each other completely and knowing that neither of you will ever leave the other.
If you’re still confused, ask yourself what you expect to happen if you find someone like your other half. Would you expect instant connection and understanding? Would you wish to share every thought? Would you expect to laugh together constantly?
If you answer yes to these questions, you might be looking for a soulmate. If you answered no, then you’re probably just dating someone.
You Can Do It Yourself
Of course, sometimes you need help figuring out what you want.
When you start dating someone new, you don’t realize they haven’t met anyone else yet. You think you’re the best possible match and would be happy with whoever you end up with.
However, over time, you learn to recognize signs that you’re not meant to be together. These clues include arguments, fights, and a lack of trust. If you notice that you’re having problems, talk to your partner about it, and work things out. If you can’t solve the problem, then maybe it’s time to end things.
Another clue you might be wrong is that you’re not getting along with your partner’s family. If you’re fighting with their mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc., you might need to reconsider whether this person is right for you. Sometimes people grow apart when they have different backgrounds.
If you can’t decide between staying with your current partner or leaving them behind, ask your parents, friends, teachers, or mentors for advice. They’ve seen couples break up before, so they’ll know what’s best for you.
Don’t Give Up On Love
Sometimes, though, you’ll find someone who seems to be right for you. You might even feel like they are the perfect match, but you’re still unsure. Committing to a new relationship can be scary, especially if you’re used to being alone.
Here are some things you can do to determine whether you’re genuinely soulmates. First, pay attention to your gut reaction. If you feel nervous around your potential partner and can’t explain it, chances are you’re not right for each other.
Next, check out your relationship history. You will likely repeat the same mistakes if you’ve been hurt in previous relationships. Finally, ask yourself what you expect to happen if you and your partner get together. If you can figure out what would excite you, you know that you’re soulmates.
While listening to your instincts and following your intuition is important, you shouldn’t let them drive you away from someone you feel might be your other half. Remember that there’s no guarantee that you’ll find your soulmate during your lifetime, so don’t give up too quickly.
