A soul mate is someone with whom you “click.” Someone whose energy feels like it’s always been there, and your connection to them seems almost immediate. But what does a true soulmate feel like? What do they want out of life? Here are some answers from real-life experiences.
We all have that one person we connect with on an intuitive level.
You know that when you’re in their presence, something clicks. It’s as if you’ve known each other for years, even though it’s only been minutes. You feel comfortable around this person and can be yourself without any awkwardness or fear. This bond becomes so strong that you feel like you’re not separate people anymore — but part of one whole being.
For many people, the idea of having a soul mate is enough to make them feel better about themselves. They may talk about how much happier they feel after finding “the one”—their best friend, partner, spouse, whatever. And while there’s no doubt that the experience of finding love can make you feel good, it doesn’t mean you’ll always be happy together.
Many people believe that meeting their soul mates is easy, mainly because they share similar interests, personality traits, and values. But the truth is that you don’t find your soul mate by accident — you meet them for a reason.
“I think you meet your soulmate when you’re ready,” says Dr. Gary Brooks, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Love & Sex. “And I also believe that they choose you.”
Brooks has seen many couples who were already married and had been together for quite some time come into his practice. He would often ask these couples why they felt they should still be searching for love after such long periods. In every case, they said that they met their soulmates when they first started dating.
So, what exactly makes two people become soul mates?
“There are six commonalities between soul mates,” explains certified relationship coach Susan Winter from Relationship Coach University. “They’re both authentic, they communicate well, they respect each other’s boundaries, they have the same core values, they enjoy the same activities, and they can create intimacy and trust quickly.”
But while these characteristics may be necessary, they’re not the end-all-be-all of what it means to be a soul mate.
“A soul mate may look different than another person in your life,” adds Winter. “They may have more money, education, or social status than you do. Or they might be older than you, younger than you, or maybe disabled. There are no requirements to being a soul mate, but there are things you can do to increase the odds of finding your match.”
If you’ve found your match, here are some things you should consider doing.
How Do You Know If Your Partner Is The One For You?
The thing about soul mates is that they seem destined to find each other because of some particular alignment of the stars. But sometimes, you need to take matters into your own hands and start looking for clues that will help you decide whether your partner is the right one for you.
“To figure out whether or not someone is your soulmate, you need to get to know them better,” says Winter. “This could mean asking questions about their childhood, family background, or where they grew up. It certainly includes discovering more about their likes and dislikes and learning as much as possible about their dreams and goals.”
While it’s tempting to dive headfirst into the deep end of the pool and jump into the unknown, keep in mind that you don’t want to rush into anything. Take your time to get to know your potential partner before deciding to move forward with a serious relationship.
When Should You Start Dating Again?
So, you’ve decided to date again after taking some time off following a breakup. Now you’re wondering when you should go back out there and see if you can find someone new. While it’s not an exact science, experts say it’s never too early to go on dates again.
“Don’t wait until you’ve exhausted all your options,” says Winter. “Go ahead and put yourself out there. Be willing to try new things, move away from your comfort zone, and expand your horizons. You’ll be surprised at what happens!”
Setting realistic expectations is one of the most critical aspects of finding a new partner. Don’t expect instant results — and don’t compare yourself to anyone else!
“It’s great to be optimistic, but don’t make unrealistic expectations,” warns Winter. “Don’t set yourself up to fail. Remember that you deserve to be treated well — and that you deserve to be loved!”
But don’t let those false expectations stop you, either. If you feel drawn toward someone, then go for it!
Finding Out More About Each Other
Once you’ve decided to rekindle your romance, the next step is to learn more about your potential partner. This doesn’t necessarily mean diving headfirst into a full-blown relationship — instead, it means starting small and building up slowly.
“Get to know your potential soul mate outside of their romantic relationships,” suggests Winter. “Find out how they spend their spare time, what kinds of hobbies they like, and what books or movies they recommend. If you don’t hesitate to ask if interested in knowing more about them, don’t hesitate to ask.”
Another tip is to focus on the positive qualities you admire in your prospective partner. Instead of focusing on flaws, try emphasizing what you appreciate — and you’ll probably find that your partner also appreciates those qualities in you.
Be Careful Of How Much Information You Give Away
While soul mates may seem like destiny, they’re not always meant to be together forever. So, even if you have feelings for someone, you shouldn’t assume they feel the same way about you.
“It’s essential to remember that you’re not guaranteed to stay with your soul mate forever,” says Winter. “If you’re not sure if he or she is worth pursuing, then it’s OK to walk away.”
However, if you pursue a relationship with someone you aren’t sure will last, remember that you shouldn’t give your heart away prematurely. Just because someone is attracted to you doesn’t mean they’ll be able to provide the support you need over the long run.
Before committing to anything serious, be sure you’re fully prepared to handle the challenges that inevitably come with a relationship.
Doing this will help ensure that your relationship lasts while also ensuring that you don’t make any wrong moves that could break you apart.
All information in this article is provided solely for educational and informational purposes and is not intended to be taken as medical advice. Consult a physician or other qualified health provider with questions about a medical condition or health goals.