The age when you find your soulmate is a question we all have. But how much do you know about it?
We’ve all been there. It’s Valentine’s Day, and you’re sitting on your couch, bored out of your mind while Netflix and chilling with your partner. You decide to put down your phone and start scrolling through profiles on Tinder, but you get distracted by an ad for “The Bachelor.”
Then you see something that makes you pause. In one of the dating profile images, people are smiling—like they’re having fun. And then you know another person who looks a little more like you.
It turns out you’re not alone. There are millions of other singles looking for love just like you, too. So which age range should you be expecting to meet your soulmate? Is there even such a thing as the perfect age to meet them?
The Ideal Age
According to relationship experts, the ideal age to meet your soulmate is between the late 20s and early 40s. That’s because research has shown that most adults over 30 still haven’t found their Match, so if you want to meet someone, now is probably a good time. However, experts say that if you’re older than 35, it may be harder to find your soulmate.
“In general, people think that the earlier you start looking for a mate, the better,” says relationship coach Kari White. “But the truth is that it depends on your age.”
White explains that if you’re younger, you will likely have more options, but you may feel less inclined to date if you’re younger. As a result, your expectations may not match reality.
For example, a study by the University of Chicago Booth School of Business found that while millennials were more attracted to dating someone slightly over 50, boomers were attracted to dating someone slightly under 45. The average age difference between couples was almost five years.
So if you’re older, don’t expect to run into your soulmate at the mall or on a blind date. Instead, look for them online or on dating apps where people want to connect with others.
What Your Parents Thought of Their First Dates
While it might seem silly to compare our experiences to those of our parents, we can learn a lot from them. For instance, did you ever wonder why your parents had issues meeting their partners? They may have met their spouses in college, but many didn’t stick around for long. According to the National Marriage Project, only 33% of marriages last ten years.
And while it’s true that some young people wait longer than others, according to the American Psychological Association, the median age at first marriage for men is 27 and 30 for women. Even though we’re living longer lives thanks to medical advancements, finding someone who wants to settle down is becoming increasingly difficult.
“When you’re younger, you’re thinking, ‘I’m going to be here forever,’ so you’re not that picky,” says White. “You’re more open to new things. But when you get older, you realize you’ve got a lot to offer, and plenty of people would appreciate you, so you become a lot pickier.”
If you’re looking to find your Match, keep this in mind. If your parents waited until they were in their mid-30s before getting engaged, you might have to wait a bit longer to meet your future partner.
When You’re Ready to Date Again, or Not at All
One of the reasons people delay finding love is because they’re afraid they’ll never find anyone again. While it’s normal to be apprehensive before you take that big step, you should also consider the possibility that you could fall head over heels in love with the person you eventually choose. As a result, you may be able to go back to single life sooner rather than later.
According to psychologist Jordan Peterson, the key to finding love is to accept yourself as you are. He suggests that if you feel uncomfortable around certain people, avoiding them is best instead of wasting time trying to change who you are to fit in.
“Don’t try to make yourself into someone else to fit in,” he said in an interview with Psychology Today. “You’re not going to be happy doing that, and people will sense that.”
While it may seem counterintuitive, accepting yourself and being comfortable with who you are is the first step toward finding your soulmate.
“It sounds simple, but it’s a compelling concept,” says White. “You can be open to possibilities or close yourself off to them. If you close yourself off, you won’t have any opportunities to meet your soulmate.”
How Much Money Do You Need?
Whether you’re looking for romance or companionship, money plays a massive role in whether or not you can attract a potential partner. After all, if you can’t provide for yourself or your partner financially, they’re not likely to commit to you.
That’s why financial experts recommend that singles save enough money to cover at least three months’ expenses. While this may sound daunting, experts suggest achieving this goal before you hit your 30s or even your mid-20s.
“Even if you’re 30 years old, you can save $500-$1,000 per month,” says White. “Some people can put away $1,000 per week. Don’t underestimate how quickly you can build up that cash cushion.”
However, if you can’t afford to save that amount, experts suggest taking baby steps. Start by cutting back on unnecessary spending, and then add some extra income sources (such as freelance work) to help pay the bills.
Dating Apps Were the Way Forward in 2020
As we enter a post-coronavirus world, dating apps have become essential for connecting with others.
“Dating apps have become a must-have in terms of communication and connection,” says White. “They’re a great way to stay connected to people you’d otherwise lose touch with. Plus, they’re convenient and easy to use.”
Although online dating sites are popular among singles of all ages, it’s important to remember that different demographics prefer various platforms. For example, Tinder is especially popular with younger people, while Match is known for its focus on older users.
And while social distancing restrictions are being lifted around the country, it remains to be seen whether online dating services will continue to thrive. Some experts predict that as more people return to the workplace, they will again turn to date apps.
“The next few months will be crucial in determining whether online dating will remain viable,” says White. “People need to be able to go outside and interact face-to-face to maintain social distance and prevent the spread of COVID-19. But they also need to stay connected to friends and family, and there hasn’t been a better option than online dating.”
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