The myth of the soulmate relationship is one that many people still believe in, even if they’ve never experienced it themselves. But what does science have to say about this? We spoke with experts on love and dating to find out more.
Many of us are taught from an early age that there’s someone special for each of us – the person who completes us. Whether through books or films, we’re inundated with myths, legends, and ideas of what our “one true love” should be like.
And while we may not think so now, as adults, plenty of us will still cling to these beliefs. Even though our world has changed drastically since those stories were first written, the idea of finding your perfect match remains a big part of society today.
A Brief History Of The ‘Soul Mate’ Relationship
The concept of soul mates goes back centuries. The word comes from ancient Greek, meaning “twin souls.” The belief that two people share similar characteristics was thought by some cultures to be a sign of higher spiritual status and divine guidance.
Others believed that you would be pleased and complete if you could find a twin soul. This led to the development of various historical rituals and traditions, such as the Chinese practice of Feng Shui, which involves ensuring that your house and belongings align with your partner’s energy.
In the Western world, there were also tales of the “golden man” or “the one.” These were considered to be the rare individuals who had both physical beauty and great strength of character. They were often described as able to lead others and inspire them to greatness.
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Nowadays, however, most people don’t meet their soulmates at any particular time. Research shows that when it comes to relationships, there is no single moment where everything falls into place. Instead, developing feelings of trust and compatibility between two people takes years. So why do we still believe in soul mates?
In his book, “Why Do People Believe Weird Things?” psychology professor David Rand believes that the idea of soul mates persists because it fits well with our expectations of romance. He says we believe in soulmates because we expect them to show up simultaneously.
While this may sound obvious, Rand explains that it’s not necessarily how things work. Instead, he suggests that people tend to form romantic relationships based on the idea of “ideal matching,” which is when two people are attracted to each other based on similarities rather than differences.
He explains that this leads people to imagine that their ideal relationship will reflect something they already know exists – that they’ll naturally fall in love with someone who matches their personality traits perfectly.
As a result, he says, people try to create relationships like those they’re used to seeing. And while this may seem like a good thing, it can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when things don’t turn out how we want them to.
How To Find Your True Match In Life
So where does all this leave us? If we know that relationships don’t happen overnight and that there isn’t always going to be a sign that tells us we’ve found “the one,” what can we do to help us find our soul mate?
While scientists haven’t been able to prove whether or not there are “true soul mates” out there for everyone, they agree that what we call a “matchmaker” doesn’t just appear magically. There are a few ways to improve your chances of meeting the right person, including learning the best way to communicate with potential partners.
Psychologist Justin Lehmiller explains that it’s essential to realize that you might not know all the details about yourself that you need your future partner to see. For example, if you’re worried about being too shy or lacking self-confidence, it could mean that you aren’t communicating your real needs enough, which could cause you to feel frustrated and rejected.
By taking the time to understand yourself better, you could learn to be more honest with your partner and build stronger connections.
Lehmiller also recommends taking a step back and looking at your own life. Are there any issues you need to address before making new connections? Perhaps you need to get more involved in activities outside of work, attend events and spend more time with friends.
While this may not seem much of a priority, it could help you down the line. You could even consider joining a group or club to meet new people and try to find something that interests you.
If you feel alone or isolated, there’s another option available: talk to someone you trust. Psychologists explain that talking to someone you care about can help reduce stress and give you a sense of purpose. Plus, it doesn’t require an expensive therapist or psychologist, meaning you can access this service for free if you’re willing to put in the effort.
You might also consider seeking professional advice from a dating coach, as they can offer insight into improving communication skills and boosting your confidence. And there’s nothing wrong with asking a trusted friend, family member, or mentor for help, either.
After all, even the best relationship doesn’t come without hard work and support.
