There’s nothing like falling deeply in love to make you feel alive. But what happens after the initial thrill wears off? Are you still feeling that spark? Have you found someone who loves you as much as you do them, but you two drift apart?
It happens all too often. It isn’t easy to keep the flame burning when people date each other without knowing themselves enough to know if they’re truly compatible. If you’re currently involved in a relationship or thinking of getting into one, we’ve got some tips on how to know if your soulmate is near.
Know The Difference Between Love And Lust
Before you dive headfirst into a new relationship, let’s take a moment to understand the difference between lust and love. There are plenty of people out there who would argue that love is simply a form of lust.
This isn’t entirely true. While both emotions are linked, they have vastly different effects on our lives, and even though we may feel the same way about our partner (or crush), these feelings will probably manifest differently in us.
Lust is a quick, passionate, physical reaction to someone. It’s a temporary fix for an emotional void, and it often comes from a need to control something — be it sex, power or status. You might go through the motions of dating someone because it feels good, but ultimately, you won’t stay together long term. On the other hand, love is a deep sense of connection, admiration, and respect for your partner. It’s also what keeps people together in long-term relationships.
While passion can lead to lust, love is usually born out of a desire to create a life together. Whether married or just moving in together, you’ll find that your feelings for your partner deepen over time. If you’re feeling any of these signs, you should start looking for your soulmate.
Be Honest With Yourself About What You Want In A Relationship
To find your soulmate, you’ll need to be honest about what you want from a relationship. That’s easier said than done, especially since society tells us to chase after “the one” and not look at ourselves in the mirror. However, if you don’t take the time to figure out what you value most in a partner, it’ll be hard to attract someone who values those same things back.
So, if you’ve seen someone for a while now, stop by their house and ask yourself what makes you happy. Maybe it’s their smile. Maybe it’s the way they hold you. Or maybe it’s when they ask you questions. Whatever it is, could you write it down?
Then, think about the qualities you want in a partner, and put them on a list. Don’t compare yourself to others — this exercise is meant to help you define your own needs and wants. Also, don’t forget to check off items that don’t apply to you or ones that aren’t important to you at all.
Once you’ve done this, write down the top two lists. Now, read each list carefully, and decide which one you’d rather have in your next relationship. If you’re feeling confused, don’t worry — it’s normal to feel that way. Remember that this exercise is designed to help you identify what you really want from a partner, so don’t beat yourself up if you change your mind later.
Don’t Be Afraid Of Being Alone For Long Periods Of Time
Being single is hard enough. So many people are afraid to admit to being alone for too long, but it can happen, and it’s okay. People tend to fall into one of three categories regarding their romantic relationships. Some, like me, are in the “I need someone to complete me” category.
Others are in the “someone is always around me” category. And then there are people like John Mayer, who are fine living alone. Whatever category you fall under, you shouldn’t be ashamed of wanting to spend more time alone.
Why? Because relationships can sometimes be draining. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. You will not enjoy spending every waking hour with your significant other. You’re still working toward finding the right person even when you’re not actively pursuing a relationship.
Sometimes that means you’ll end up alone, and that’s okay. Just try not to spend every free second of your day with your phone in hand, hoping for text messages from your soulmate.
If All Else Fails, Ask Someone Who Knows How They Feel
Sometimes, the best way to find your soulmate is to talk to someone who already knows what they’re talking about.
That’s why we asked a few close friends to share their advice on how to tell if someone is your soulmate. Check out their responses below.
Ask Your Friends, Family, or Coworkers
Your friends, family, coworkers — whatever you call them — have lived through their fair share of relationships. Many were in relationships before they met their soulmate; because of this, they have a lot of insight into what it takes to find someone you’ll love forever. So, if you’re having trouble figuring out whether or not someone qualifies, consider asking them what they think.
Just Talk To Them
If you’re still in doubt, talk to someone who’s known your partner for a while. Chances are, they’ll be able to help you figure out if they’re the one for you. If they can’t, they’ll let you know. No harm, no foul.
Take A Course
A class can be great for helping you learn new skills, and it’s beneficial if you’re struggling to figure out what you want in a mate. One of my favorite classes was Relationships 101, offered by the University of Cincinnati. It helped me see that I needed to work on myself, not only with my partner but with myself. It’s an important lesson to learn early because it’ll impact your future romantic relationships and life.
The Best Way To Find Your True Self & Soulmate? Take Action
Finding your soulmate doesn’t mean you must rush into a relationship. Instead, think about what you want, and then act accordingly. If unsure where to begin, consider taking a course or joining a group. These activities teach you valuable lessons that you can use throughout your life. Plus, you’ll meet new people and make lifelong friendships.
Now that you know how to tell if your soulmate is near, go forth and live happily ever after!
Have you ever had trouble telling if someone was your soulmate? Did your friend or family member give you some advice? Could you share it in the comments below?