Finding a soul mate is all the rage these days. There are plenty of books on the subject – from Meg Cabot’s The Princess Diaries series to Nicholas Sparks’ The Notebook (which is based on true events). And thanks to online dating sites, we now live in a world where everyone seems to want a “one true soul mate.”
But how do you go about doing this? What do you say to a stranger when you first meet them? Is it even possible to make a connection with someone without knowing anything about them at all?
Be open to anyone
I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but it’s important to keep an open mind if you want to find a soul mate.
In fact, it’s more likely that you will connect with someone you’d never met before if you take the time to look around and see who else is available to meet. If you start with a list of 10 or 20 people and then narrow down your search to just five, you may end up with someone you would have overlooked otherwise.
You can also use online dating websites to find people who share some of your hobbies or even your likes and dislikes. That way, you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed by meeting someone new, and you can focus on getting to know each other instead of trying to impress each other.
Don’t be afraid that someone might not like you
If you think about it, the last thing you want to do is walk into a room full of strangers and try to talk to someone who doesn’t seem interested in talking to you. You might worry that you won’t connect with a potential partner, but that is far easier said than done.
So, the best advice here is to relax and let things unfold naturally – which you should already be doing anyway since you’ve taken the time to meet others.
Think about your needs as well as theirs
Once you’ve talked to enough people to gauge interest, it’s time to figure out what kind of relationship you’re looking for.
For example, is it, someone you would date long-term and spend lots of time with? Are you looking for someone compatible with your lifestyle so you can enjoy spending time together? Or maybe you’re just looking for someone to pass the time with while you work through some issues.
Whatever your reasons, you need to decide what kind of relationship you hope to create with your match. Then, once you’ve figured out what you’re seeking, ask yourself a few questions to better understand what your date wants and needs.
Consider using an app for compatibility testing
While it’s great to meet someone face-to-face and see if they’re right for you, many people don’t realize whether they’re compatible with someone else until after they’ve been dating for a while. This is especially true if you’re looking for something serious.
Luckily, some apps allow you to test different potential matches before committing to them. One example is Happn, which allows users to anonymously swipe left or right on pictures of people nearby and then talk to them later if they’re interested.
Another option is Kizoa, which requires you to answer a series of questions before deciding how you feel about someone. Once you’ve answered the questions, you’ll receive feedback on how that person feels about you.
Ask questions to get beyond physical attraction
Sometimes, it can be hard to determine whether or not two people are compatible based solely on a physical assessment. So, it’s always good to ask a few questions to help get past any initial feelings.
One question that works well is “What does your perfect day look like?” It’s interesting and shows that you’re thinking about the future and planning ahead rather than living in the moment.
It’s also important to remember that physical appearance isn’t the only indicator of compatibility. While it’s true that some people prefer to date tall men or short women, that preference doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be incompatible with your date. You have to use your judgment to determine whether or not you click with someone.
Also, don’t forget to consider personality traits when asking questions like this. For instance, if you’re searching for someone with a sense of humor, make sure your date understands and appreciates it.
Look for common ground with their interests
This goes hand in hand with the previous point. When trying to figure out if two people are compatible, it makes sense to take note of things they both like and dislike. For example, if you’re both fans of dogs, you will most likely get along much better than if you hate cats.
Commonalities in hobbies, career choices, political views, religion, age, etc., are all important factors when determining whether or not two people are a good fit. As your friendship progresses, you can discuss these topics and learn more about each other.
Get out there
When I was younger, I didn’t get out there and meet people in person because I felt I wasn’t good enough to attract potential dates. Thankfully, I got over it and started meeting people outside my usual circle of friends. I’m currently dating someone I met at a bar and didn’t even know his name before we met.
There’s nothing wrong with dating someone you’ve never met. It’s one of the easiest ways to find a relationship. Plus, it allows you to meet someone who might not have been available to you otherwise.
So, next time you’re feeling lonely, reach out and meet someone new – no matter how big or small your social circle may be. Just remember to be open to meeting new people and taking the time to get to know them.
Are you looking for a soul mate? How did you find yours? Please share your story with us in the comments below!