I have a friend who is an amazing woman, and she’s been single for the past decade. She says that she doesn’t want to be alone forever — but she also seems like someone who might not know how to go about finding love again.
I’m here to help her find it.
Don’t Be Afraid Of Online Dating
Many of us fear online dating because we think it will make us feel bad about ourselves in the long run. But it won’t! There are a few things you should keep in mind before you sign up with any of these online dating services:
- The site will judge your pictures based on what they’re looking at. You’ll probably get more responses if your pictures look good than if your photos look terrible.
- People always lie about their age on dating sites. So don’t believe everything you read.
The truth is, most people who use online dating services aren’t scamming anyone. They’re just trying to meet new people and enjoy themselves. If someone has lied about their age or looks or otherwise misrepresented themselves, you can usually find out by asking questions.
Look For Someone Who Is Looking For You
There are lots of reasons people join dating services, but there’s one thing they all have in common: they want to be found. The best way to do this is to write down why you decided to search for a partner on a particular website, and then take some time to think about why you’d be interested in meeting someone like yourself.
If you’re looking for someone with similar interests, try to narrow your focus. Maybe you’re interested in playing sports or traveling. It could be something else entirely, such as being into rock climbing or volunteering in schools. You need to focus on what kind of person you want to meet, rather than just writing “looking for my soulmate.”
In addition, remember that most people using online dating services are looking for casual partners, friends, or nothing more serious than that. While there may be a few exceptions (like when someone is actively looking for a life partner), it’s hard to say that someone simply seeking a friendship is ready to settle down with someone.
“One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking that you’re going to meet some mythical creature — someone who is perfect, someone who is going to sweep you off your feet,” says Dr. David Mattingly, author of How to Meet the Right Person When You Hate Going Out.
Rather than focusing on perfection, focus on compatibility. Think about the things you both share in common and the values you have in common. This may seem tough, but it’s worth remembering that even though many people will tell you that they’ve met their soulmate, they didn’t necessarily meet their soulmate on their first date. And chances are, those people probably had to work through some of those same issues.
While it may be tempting just to pick up the phone and call your next potential mate, think twice before doing so. Remember, you’re not talking to a random stranger. You’re talking to someone who might end up becoming your future spouse.
Go On Dates With Friends Or Family Members First
When you’re starting online dating services, you may feel it makes sense to jump right in and start contacting people without knowing too much about them. However, this isn’t always the best idea. If you have a friend or family member who knows you well enough, ask them to set you up on a date with them first. Not only will you get a chance to see whether they’re compatible, but you’ll also be able to learn more about your potential match’s personality.
Ask Your Mom About It
While it’s true that you should never base your entire decision on what your mother thinks, it’s important to ask her for advice when deciding which dating service to use. This is one of the best ways to find out which ones are legitimate, especially since you’ll probably have better luck finding a match on a site where people are searching for an actual relationship rather than a hookup.
Keep An Open Mind And Try Something New Every Day
You may think that you already know exactly what kind of person you’re looking for, but chances are, that’s not the case. Even if you know what type of person you want to meet, you still need to remember that you shouldn’t force yourself into a situation that doesn’t feel comfortable for you.
Try something new daily, and let your curiosity guide you. When you go on dates, pay attention to the other person’s behavior, and don’t worry much about what you’re saying. Just relax and enjoy yourself.
Of course, the ultimate goal is to meet someone special. But sometimes, it’s nice to have someone to hang out with. Consider turning to online dating services if you’re having trouble finding a date. You never know; you might end up with the man/woman of your dreams.