As much as we like to think that finding “the one” is an easy task, the reality of life is that sometimes things don’t work out, no matter how hard you try. Maybe they were just too different in some way, or maybe they were both working hard at pretending to be happy when they were not.
Either way, this sucks and can leave you feeling sad and alone, even though you know deep down that you deserve better than what you had. But if you want to move on from them (or anyone else) so you can start dating again, here are some ways to prepare your mind for the next person.
1. Don’t Expect Too Much
This might seem like a strange thing to say, but I promise you it’s true! No matter who your soul mate is, there will always be something about them that you wish weren’t true. Even if they have a bad temper, that doesn’t mean you should date them.
I have seen people fall head over heels for the most annoying person in the world, only to end up heartbroken because their partner is impossible to live with. So remember—they might have been perfect for you, but that does not make them right for you forever.
2. Accept That It Might Take Some Time To Find Someone New.
It may take months, or even years, or until you’re in your 80s before finding the right person. The important thing is to keep yourself open to meeting new people and learning more about yourself each day. Life is short, and there’s nothing wrong with being patient and waiting for the right person to come along.
3. Understand The Reasons For Their Breakup
Even though you’ve been through a breakup, don’t assume that you understand why someone ended things with you. It could have been any number of reasons, and it could change over time, depending on how you react to their decision.
Maybe they felt they couldn’t give you everything you needed, so they left. Perhaps they didn’t feel like they were good enough for you. Maybe they thought you were toxic and would never be able to handle them. Whatever the reason, you need to accept it and move forward without blaming yourself.
4. Be Honest With Yourself About How Well-Suited They Were
Before you can move on, you need to acknowledge how well suited you two were together. This can sound weird since you spent so many years together, but it’s important to make sure you’re not comparing your current situation to how things used to be.
There are probably many things you did back then that you wouldn’t necessarily do today, and vice versa. So, be honest with yourself about how well matched you two were and whether you still think you’d make a good couple.
5. Look At Other Options Before Moving Forward
Nowadays, there’s plenty of information online about how to meet new people and go out with ease. So, don’t be afraid to try other options if you don’t feel like being single anymore. Maybe you want to meet someone through a social media app, or perhaps you’re interested in going on a blind date.
6. Try Dating Different People Until You’re Ready To Give Up And Let Go Of Them All.
When you’re trying to move on after a breakup, it’s not uncommon to want to see your ex every day or hang out with the same old friends while also looking for someone new. But trust me—this is not healthy for either you or them. Instead, try to date different people until you’re ready to let go of all of them.
7. Have A Plan In Place If Things Get Awkward Or Difficult
One of the hardest parts of moving on after a breakup is knowing when and where to contact the person you’re trying to reconnect with. You don’t want to be creepy by asking them out when you haven’t spoken to them in ages!
Instead, create a plan with your friend or family member where you know exactly what to say and do to get back into the person’s life. Maybe it’s setting up a coffee date, sending a few texts, or inviting them to dinner. Whatever you decide, make sure you put it into action.
8. Remember What Made You Fall Head Over Heels In Love With Them In First Place
Sometimes, our initial attraction to someone is based purely on physical appearance. Sometimes it comes down to personality or how they speak to us. Regardless of what made you initially fall for them, try to remember these things whenever you meet someone new.
For example, if you found your soulmate on OkCupid because they looked cute, show off your best smile when you meet someone new. Tell your new potential partner a funny story if you met your soulmate on Facebook because they had a great sense of humor. If you fell in love because you share similar political beliefs, talk politics with them to try and spark a conversation.